The Dowager Duchess gave her interview on 60 Minutes, and now the world knows she is unaware of how the alternate universe of the upstairs/downstairs play out – since she does not watch the televised series herself. Nonetheless, for those who ardently succumb to the weekly installments – and wonder why they do – John Kelly of the Washington Post offers a viable alternative script in his humorous column – Anyone can write a ‘Downton Abbey’ episode . It might be fun to add a few lines yourself. Watch out, Julian Fellowes!
Thanks to a good friend and fellow follower who sent me the clipping, here is an excerpt, featuring my favorite character:
Thomas pulls a yo-yo from his trouser picket and proceeds to demonstrate Around the World, Pop the Church, and Wall the Dog.
Dowager Countess: How perfectly ghastly. The only thing I’d like to see dangling at the end of a string is a suffragist. May I have that “yo-yo” please, Thomas.
Thomas: Of course, ma’am. He hands the Dowager Duchess the yo-yo. she takes it in her gloved hand, examines it as is if was a dead vole then deftly flings it at Lady Edith, striking her smartly in the brow.
Lady Edith: Oww! Granny, that hurt! Why did you do that?
Dowager Countess: Because you’re ugly, and we hate you.
Roll credits.
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